


Crouching Inquisitor, Sneaking Lion

by FluffyCannibal



Series: Late Night Booty Calls of Skyhold [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Booty Calls, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 09:57:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16116047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffyCannibal/pseuds/FluffyCannibal
Summary: The Inquisitor wakes up suddenly in the middle of the night to the sound of someone trying to sneak into her room.Short one-shot with no specific Inquisitor - it could be any F!Inquisitor you want it to be.





	Crouching Inquisitor, Sneaking Lion

The first rays of the morning sun seeping through the windows. The smell of morning dew from the garden. The sounds of Skyhold's people preparing for a new day. These were things the Inquisitor was used to waking up to.

  
Instead she was met with darkness. The wind howling through the mountains around Skyhold. The gentle creaking noise that the tower housing the Inquisitor's quarters makes - the one that once stopped her from sleeping for two weeks because she was paranoid and terrified that the place was going to collapse.

There was something else though, something that didn't belong, something that was responsible for waking her up in the middle of the night.

  
_Shuffle -- step -- shuffle -- step_

  
Somebody was on the stairs leading up to the Inquisitor's quarters - close enough that the only place they could be going was the Inquisitor's room. In the dead of night. While she's meant to be sleeping.

  
_Shuffle --step_

  
Whoever it was they were quiet; not as quiet as Cole or Leliana, granted, but quiet enough that most people wouldn't have heard them coming. However the Inquisitor wasn't most people. She could tell that whoever it was was small, light on their feet, and likely not wearing any shoes, meaning logic dictated that it had to be an elf. Solas would have no business sneaking into the Inquisitor's bedchamber at night _(Lets face it,_ she thought to herself _, Solas has probably never snuck into anyone's bedchamber in the middle of the night)_ , Sera had learned better than to attempt such a thing again after that incident with the bucket, the feathers, and the giant turnip that we don't talk about in polite company thank-you-very-much, and if the Inquisition was having a crisis urgent enough to warrant waking it's leader at stupid-o'clock-in-the-morning then surely Leliana, Cullen, or Josephine would come to wake her in person, meaning...

  
Whoever that was on the stairs was not there with good reason.

_Shuffle -- step_

The Inquisitor was in danger.

  
Dressed in nothing but a simple night shirt (and thankful that she'd at least bothered to wear that to bed - she'd hate to have met her possible assassin stark naked) she quickly grabbed the trusty dagger she kept under her pillow and slipped out of bed. Carefully balancing herself on top of the railing above the steps leading up from the door to her quarters, the Inquisitor held her breath and waited for the sound of the lock being picked.

  
Momentarily surprised by the door apparently being opened with a key ( _A key? Where in Thedas did they get a key from?!_ ), the Inquisitor waited the few seconds it took for her assassin to gently close the door and begin climbing the steps. With her dagger poised and ready, she jumped down and onto their shoulders.

  
Their surprisingly large and furry shoulders.

  
"Makers breath!" a familiar voice hollered while the lantern it's owner was holding clattered to the floor. The Inquisitor froze out of shock; something she was extremely grateful for later, given that she was about to plunge her dagger into the aforementioned large and furry shoulders.

  
"Cullen!" the Inquisitor exclaimed, "Why in Andraste's name are you sneaking into my quarters in the middle of the night?!"

"I...is that a dagger?" the Commander craned his neck, trying to get a better look at the woman now clinging to his back.

"I thought you were an assassin! Wait, why aren't you an elf?"

"Why aren't I what?" Cullen spluttered with a laugh "Are you feeling alright, my love?"

"I heard someone light, nimble, and obviously not wearing any shoes on their way up the stairs..." the Inquisitor jumped down from Cullen's shoulders and gathered the dropped, but still lit, lantern from the floor. "I thought it could only be an elf"

"I'm not just a big clumsy oaf you know; Templars do take some stealth training" Cullen began in that dry tone he always adopted whenever he got defensive about Templars. "And young templars had to learn how to sneak past the priestesses if they ever wanted to stay up past seven o'clock" he finished with a smirk.

Frowning at her boyfriend's feet, the Inquisitor asked, "But why aren't you wearing any shoes?"

"I, uh," Cullen nervously scratched the back of his neck, wearing the sheepish grin he adopted whenever he was flustered. "I didn't want anyone to hear me on the way up...to know about you and I..." he nervously trailed off while his girlfriend tried hard not to groan and roll her eyes.

"The entirety of Skyhold knows about us. Your scouts have been placing bets on who will be the first to catch us having sex in your office -"

"They **what**?!" the Commander began to turn a slightly unflattering shade of red.

" - and did you really not understand what Leliana and Josephine were talking about earlier when they asked if you let me handle your weapon?"

"Makers breath" Cullen groaned, burying his (now beet red) face in his hands.

"We're grown-ups Cullen. We're allowed to have a relationship. You're allowed to visit my quarters in the middle of the night if you want to. Contrary to what the Chantry may teach, we're not going to burst into flames as a result" the Inquisitor took her Commander by the hand and led him up the short stairway into her room.

"Yes, you're right. How are you always right?"

"Didn't you hear? I'm the Herald of Andraste. It's what I do" the Inquisitor replied with a grin and a mischevious glint in her eye. Taking her boyfriends hand and gently placing it under her nightshirt, she leaned close to his ear and whispered "Now why don't I show you what else I can do?"


End file.
